Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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