how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
