I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
