he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
