Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize