i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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