he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
