Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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