the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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