I wish I only lived at night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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