i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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