my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
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Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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