no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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