That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize