Banned from zoo.
Again?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
