If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
