so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
