I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
