If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
