Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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