Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
