you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
His nipple licking is glorious
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