I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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