He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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