So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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