Dual....:-)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
