i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
