man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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