so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize