Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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