I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
