Betty ford says i'm here all night
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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