I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
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Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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