Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
only you would photoshop your dick
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
