All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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