So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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