so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
