My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
