I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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