i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
