pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
