worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize