I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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