You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
