careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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