I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
