..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
