my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
