if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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