how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
