Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
