She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
