is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
