READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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