it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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