You can't special order awesome
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
