I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize