i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
