I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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