Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
